What makes you angry? What do you find annoying? Here's how to tell people you find something annoying. Thanks to Danny for writing this article!
I’d like, first of all, to begin with an apology for what follows. I’m not my usual cheery self today, so what comes next may upset those of you with a nervous disposition. Okay? Good. Now let’s get started...
In his classic novel of a world gone mad – 1984 – George Orwell came up with the idea of Room 101, which was essentially a torture chamber run by the Ministry of Love in which the prisoner was faced with his worst nightmare. The room itself is based on a real conference room at BBC Broadcasting House where Orwell sat through many a tedious meeting. Nowadays, the term Room 101 is often used to describe a place where unpleasant and horrible things are kept.
My question is... What would you, given the chance, put into Room 101? Which of those millions of annoying and frustrating everyday situations and objects would you happily toss into the darkest corner of the room, then lock the door and swallow the key?
I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Perhaps for a while longer than is healthy. As I grow older, a little more world-weary and a lot more cynical, I am heading towards the conclusion that it might be a better idea to lock myself in the room and leave the whole damn mess that is our universe on the other side of the door. Because, as night follows day, I find myself increasingly annoyed by the state of things around me. I’m not talking about the big things here – there’s not really much I can do about the constant wars, the hole in the ozone layer, poverty, famine or the evil that is Paris Hilton. No. I mean the little things that most people seem to have learned to live with, but that make me vibrate with indignation and resentment every time I come across them. For example...
Toasters!
Yes, toasters. The small plastic and metal box that sits on the side in your kitchen, waiting patiently to be fed a couple of slices of bread. There is a dial on the side of your toaster that can be turned up to number six, and what I’d like to know is... why!!?? The number three setting will give you a delicious golden slice of toast. Those who like their toast slightly crunchier and darker can turn it up to number four. If you want that ‘saved from a burning building’ flavour, then by all means, go for number five. But nobody can eat bread that has been toasted at number six! It is not possible. It erupts out of the toaster smoking and as black as the centre of the earth! That’s not toast, it’s lava. The only thing to do with it is throw it out and start again... or scrape the black bits off with a butter knife...
I hate people who scrape the black bits off toast. These people belong in Room 101 right next to the number six toaster setting. Because, even though these people may considerately scrape their toast over the dustbin, the black toast dandruff that results from this scraping goes nowhere near the dustbin. It puffs up in a dirty dark cloud and floats around until it finds something white, valuable or non-washable to land on. And when the scraping is done, the tiny jigsaw puzzle piece of cold toast that remains still tastes like charcoal. Throw it away! It’s a slice of bread, for goodness’ sake! You can buy a whole loaf for less than a euro! I waste more money running the vacuum cleaner to clean up the mess you’ve made...
Vacuum cleaners! There’s a special place in Room 101 for vacuum cleaners. Why are they still so noisy? With today’s advances in technology, scientists can design an airplane which is so quiet that you wouldn’t notice it if it flew through your living room! Don’t tell me that they can’t design a vacuum cleaner that doesn’t sound like a roomful of chain smokers coughing up their lungs into a PA system.
And so on, and so forth...
I guess that what I’m trying to say is that, while it’s all very well to remain calm, collected, serene and unruffled in the face of all adversity, sometimes... just sometimes... you need to stand up and let the world know exactly how you feel. Sometimes... just sometimes... you need to allow yourself the luxury of a self-righteous, wild-eyed rant. Here’s how, then, to...
If you’re talking about an object rather than a situation, simply replace the word ‘it’ with whatever the object may be, and leave out the ‘when’. For example... Toasters drive me mad, I just can’t take vacuum cleaners and Paris Hilton really rubs me up the wrong way. Oh, and people who scrape the black bits off toast really get on my nerves, especially when they use the same knife to spread the butter... but that’s another story for another day...
There. I don’t know about you, but I feel a lot better now!
So what makes you angry? Here's your chance to talk about all the things that drive you crazy!! Add your comments!
